1.Swan Dive
I'm cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hands
Feels like a little baby bird
Fallen from the nest
I think that your body is something I understand
I think that I'm happy
I think that I'm blessed
But I've had a lack of inhibition
I've had a loss of perspective
I've had a little bit to drink
And it's making me think
That I can jump ship and swim
That the ocean will hold me
That there's got to be more
Than this boat I'm in
They can call me crazy if I fail
All the chance that I need is one-in-a-million,
And they can call me brilliant if I succeed
Gravity is nothing to me
I'm moving at the speed of sound
I'm just gonna to get my feet wet until I drown
I teeter between tired
And really, really tired
I'm wiped and I'm wired
But I guess that's just as well
Cuz I've built my own empire
Out of car tires and chicken wire
And now I'm queen of my own compost heap
And I'm getting used to the smell
I've had a lack of information
I've had a little revelation
I'm climbing up on the railing
Trying not to look down
I'm going to do my best swan dive
In the shark-infested waters
I'm gonna pull out my tampon
And start splashing around
Cuz I don't care if they eat me alive
I've got better things to do than survive
I've got the memory of your warm skin in my hands
And I've got a vision of blue sky and dry land
I'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hands
The ship is pitching and heaving
Our limbs are bobbing and weaving
I think this is something I understand
I just need a couple vaccinations
For my far-away vacation
I'm going to go ahead and go boldly
Cuz a little bird told me
That jumping is easy
That falling is fun
Right up until you hit the sidewalk
Shivering stunned
They can call me crazy if I fail
All the chance that I need is one-in-a-million
And they can call me brilliant if I succeed
Gravity is nothing to me
I'm moving at the speed of sound
I'm just gonna get my feet wet untill I drown
2.Letter To A John ／ Tamburitza Lingua
Letter To A John
Don't ask me why I'm crying
I'm not going to tell you what's wrong
I'm just gonna sit on your lap
For five dollars a song
I want you to pay me for my beauty
I think it's only right
'Cause I have been paying for it
All of my life
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
And I'm gonna go away...
We barely have time to react in this world
Let alone rehearse
And I don't think I'm better than you
But I don't think that I'm worse
Women learn to be women
And men learn to be men
And I don't blame it all on you
But I don't want to be your friend
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
And I'm gonna go away...
I was eleven years old
He was as old as my dad
And he took something from me
I didn't even know that I had
So don't tell me about decency
Don't tell me about pride
Just give me something for my trouble
'Cause this time, it's not a free ride
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
And I'm gonna go away...
Don't ask me why I'm crying
I'm not going to tell you what's wrong
I'm just gonna sit on your lap
For five dollars a songs
I want you to pay me for my beauty
I think it's only right
'Cause I have been paying for it
All of my life
Now I just wanna take
And I'm just gonna take
I'm gonna take
And I'm gonna go away
Tamburitza Lingua
A cold and porcelain lonely
In an old New York hotel
A stranger to a city
That she used to know so well
Bathing in a bathroom
That is bathed in the first blue light
Of the beginning of a century
At the end of an endless night
Then she is wet behind the ears and wafting down the avenue
Pre-rush hour
Post-rain shower
Stillness seeping upwards like steam
From another molten sewer
Summer in New York
They've been spraying us with chemicals in our sleep
Us ／ they
Something about the mosquitoes having some kind of disease
Them ／ me
CIA foul play
If you ask the guy selling hair dryers out of a gym bag
Chemical warfare
'I'm telling you, lab rat to lab rat,' he says, 'that's where
the truth is at'
That's where the truth is at
That's where the truth is at
And everything seems to have gone terribly wrong that can
But one breath at a time is an acceptable plan
She tells herself
And the air is still there
And this morning it's even breathable
And for a second the relief is unbelievable
And she's a heavy sack of flour sifted
Her burden lifted
She's full of clean wind for one lean moment
And then she's trapped again
Reverted
Caged and contorted
With no way to get free
And she's getting plenty of little kisses
But nobody's slippin' her the key
Her whole life is a long list of what ifs
And she doesn't even know where to begin
And the pageantry of suffering therein
Rivals television
TV is, after all, the modern day roman coliseum
Human devastation as mass entertainment
And now millions sit jeering
Collectively cheering
The bloodthirsty hierarchy of the patriarchal arrangement
She is hailing a cab
She is sailing down the avenue
She's 19 going on 30
Or maybe she's really 30 now ...
It's hard to say
It's hard to keep up with time once it's on its way
And, you know, she never had much of a chance
Born into a family built like an avalanche
And somewhere in the 80s between the oat bran and the ozone
She started to figure out things like why
One eye pointed upwards looking for the holes in the sky
One eye on the little flashing red light
A picasso face twisted and listing down the canvas
Of the end of an endless night
10 9 8 seven six 5 4 three 2 one
And kerplooey
You're done.
You're done for.
You're done for good.
So tell me
Did you？
Did you do
Did you do all you could？
3.Grey
The sky is grey
The sand is grey
And the ocean is grey
And I feel right at home
In this stunning monochrome
Alone in my way
I smoke and I drink
And every time I blink
I have a tiny dream
But as bad as I am
I'm proud of the fact
That I'm worse than I seem
What kind of paradise am I looking for？
I've got everything I want and still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore
You walk through my walls
Like a ghost on tv
You penetrate me
And my little pink heart
Is on its little brown raft
Floating out to sea
And what can I say
But I'm wired this way
And you're wired to me
And what can I do
But wallow in you
Unintentionally
What kind of paradise am I looking for？
I've got everything I want and still i want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore
Regretfully
I guess I've only got three
Simple things to say：
Why me？
Why this now？
Why this way？
With overtones ringing
And undertows pulling away
Under a sky that is grey
On sand that is grey
By an ocean that's grey
What kind of paradise am I looking for？
I've got everything I want
And still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore
4.Cradle And All
Fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
Three-o-clock in the afternoon
And I am going home
F-train is full of high school students
So much shouting, so much laughter
Last night's underwear
In my back pocket
Sure sign of the morning after
Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare
I live in New York, New York
City that never shuts up
In the daylight everything is so gory
You can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories
And I moved there from buffalo
But that's nothing
The trico plant moved to Mexico
Left my uncle standing out in the cold
Said there's your last paycheck
Have fun growing old
Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare
Rockabye baby
In the treetop
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
Down will come baby
Cradle and all
Youth is beauty
Money is beauty
Hell, beauty is beauty sometimes
It's the luck of the draw
It's the natural law
It's a joke, it's a crime
I was bored
You were bored
It was a meeting of the minds
Now it's three in the afternoon
And I can't leave too soon
Saying, thank you I had a nice time
Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare
Maybe I'll live my whole life
Just getting by
Maybe I'll be discovered
Maybe I'll be colonized
You can try to train me like a pet
You can try to teach me to behave
But I'll tell you, if I haven't learned it yet
You know,
I ain't gonna sit
I ain't gonna stay
Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare
5.Whatall Is Nice
Today we are only whatall is nice about us
Today we turned on in the blue light of dawn
And made love
And you were not a dot dot dot
Waiting for me to complete you
And it was like I just forgot
To measure everything that I do
We woke up with the notion
That enough is not enough without more
And then we pushed with one motion
Like the ocean heaves a wave at the shore
And you were not a dot dot dot
Leaning forward expectantly
And I was not in such a rush
To insure my autonomy
Today we are only whatall is nice about us
6.What How When Where(Why Who)
What what what what what did you think you were doing？
How how how how how did you think this would go？
When when when when when you showed up on my radar
Where where where where where did you think you would show？
What what what what what do you make of this station
How how how how how it pulls away from the train？
When when when when when if at all will you realize
Where where where where where do and done are the same？
What what what what what now you're out in the open
How how how how how do you think you can hide？
When when when when when will you find some nice soft sand
Where where where where where you can bury your pride？
What what what what what do you want from this lifetime？
How how how how how does your story line flow？
When when when when when you finally get to the punch line
Where where where where where will the applause sign go？
And why why why why why don't you just take your bow
Cuz who's gonna love you now？
7.To The Teeth
The sun is settin on the century
And we are armed to the teeth
We are all working together now
To make our lives mercifully brief
Schoolkids keep trying to teach us
What guns are all about
Confuse liberty with weaponry
And watch your kids act it out
Every year now like Christmas
Some boy gets the mildfed surburban blues
Reaches for the avaliable aresenal
And saunters off to make the news
And women in the middle
Are learning what poor women have always known
That the edge is closer than you think
When your men bring the guns home
Look at where the profits are
That's how you'll find the source
Of the big lie that you and I
Both know so well
It the time it takes this cultural
Death wish to run its course
They're gonna make a pretty penny
And then they're all going to hell
He said the chickens all come home to roost
Yeah, malcom forecasted this flood
Are we really gonna sleep through another century
While the rich profir off our blood？
True, it may take some doing
To see this undoing done
But in my humble opinion
Here's what I suggest we do：
Open fire on hollywood
Open fire on MTV
Open fire on NBC
And CBS and ABC
Open fire on the NRA
And all the lies they told us
Along the way
Open fire on each weapons manufacturer
While he's giving head
To some republician senator
And if I hear one more time
About fool's rights
To his tools of rage
I'm gonna take all my friends
And I'm gonna move to canada
And we're gonna die of old age
8.Revelling
You were so in love
That it was all you could talk about
And I think I felt a little left out
You were on cloud 9 all the time
Ehile I was levelling
I was wringing my hands and you were revelling
But then why shouldn't you？
It was such a beautiful thing to do
Would that I could get me some of your yum yum delirium
I could level off the ground that we stand on
But with you down on bended knee
Always looking up at me
That feeling of standing up together is gone
And though I love you through all time and space
My love always seems to take second place
You were so in love
That it was all you could talk about
And I think I felt a little left out
You were on cloud 9 all the time
While I was levelling
I was wringing my hands and you were revelling
But then why shouldn't you？
It was such a beautiful thing to do
9.Napoleon
They told you your music
Could reach millions
That the choice was up to you
You told me they always pay for lunch
And they believe in what I do
And I wonder if you miss your old friends
Once you've proven what you're worth
Yeah I wonder
When you're a big star
Will you miss the earth
And I know you would always want more
I know you would never be done
'Cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
Yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
And the next time
That I saw you
You were larger than life
You came and you conquered
You were doing alright
You had an army of suits behind you
And all you had to be was willing
And I said I still make a pretty good living
You must make a killing a killing
And I hope that you are happy
I hope at least you are having fun
'Cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
Yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
Now you think, so that is
The way it's gonna be
That's what this is all about
I think that that is
The way it always was
You chose not to notice until now
Yeah now that there's a problem
You call me up to confide
And you go on for over an hour
'Bout each one that took you for a ride
And I guess that you dialed my number
'Cuz you thought for sure that I'd agree
I said baby, you know I still love you
But how dare you complain to me
Everyone is a fucking napoleon
Yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
10.Shrug
What's with that halo hovering
Above that thick skull
Spare me
If I do say so - I think you're covering
'course there was nothing
Could've prepared me
For the side effect of this dirty drug
The way you punish me and then you shrug
What's with that phone call, baby
It's like you're trying
Just trying to crush me
Do you feel stronger each time you push me, dear
Did you tell your mom you carpet bombed
Before you left here
And is it just the side effect of this dirty drug
Or does each apology sound more like a shrug
Are you at home now with your kitty cats
Are you just at home now with the way that you act
Do you split the rent there with all your secrets
Or do you just pretend to all your friends
They're uninvited guests
Yes and when you want it tidy tell me
Can you still dispel me
Sweep me neatly under the rug
Does your conscience ever mention
The way that you treat me
Or do you just fend it off with a ？
11.Welcome To
Welcome to：
No amount of stoned makes you feel ok
Welcome to：
This year's alone - brought to you by christmas day
Welcome to：
The darkness into which prayin people pray
It's quiet here except for this song
Now that everybody's gone
But hey
Least you don't have to play along today
Welcome to：
Something like elation when you first open your eyes
Just cuz it means
That you musta finally got to sleep last night
Welcome to：
The precipice between groundlessness and flight
It's quiet here except for this song
Now that everybody's gone
But hey
Least you don't have to play along today
Besides which
Welcome to：
Taking the good stuff down off of the shelf
And welcome to：
The art of conversation with yourself
Welcome to：
Humming an unbroken tune
All day long
Yes it's quiet here
But hey
Least you don't have to play along today
12.Comes A Time
Comes a time
when you're driftin'
Comes a time
when you settle down
Comes a light
feelin's liftin'
Lift that baby
right up off the ground.
Oh, this old world
keeps spinning round
It's a wonder tall trees
ain't layin' down
There comes a time.
You and I we were captured
We took our souls
and we flew away
We were right
we were giving
That's how we kept
what we gave away.
Oh, this old world
keeps spinning round
It's a wonder tall trees
ain't layin' down
There comes a time.
13.Ain't That The Way
I love you and you love me
And ain't that that way it's supposed to be？
I swing my stick legs 'round from the root
And I pile drive each foot into a platform boot.
And I'm up and I'm out cuz I'm bouncing off the walls.
And I come when you call and you call.
I got a super cute three piece suit.
One piece for your body.
One piece for your smile.
One more little piece if you stay a while.
Yeah, cuz I love you and you love me.
Ain't that the way it's supposed to be？
I gotta beeline double time.
Leave my home sweet home for your honeycomb.
Then I show up steady ready and proud and I find I've forgotten
how to talk out loud.
Isn't it just like you to bring me to my knees in my brand new
stockings
While the cat is out with my tongue.
Isn't it just like you to bring me to my knees in my brand new
stockings.
Love makes me feel so dumb.
Cuz I love you and you love me and ain't that the way it's
supposed to be？
Yeah, cuz I love you and you love the me.
Ain't that the way it's supposed to be？
14.Dilate
Life used to be life-like
Now it's more like showbiz
I wake up in the night
And I don't know where the bathroom is
And I don't know what town I'm in
Or what sky I am under
And I wake up in the darkness and I
Don't have the will anymore to wonder
Everyone has a skeleton
And a closet to keep it in
And your mine
Every song has a you
A you that the singer sings to
And you're it this time
Baby, you're it this time
When I need to wipe my face
I use the back of my hand
And I like to take up space
Just because I can
And I use my dress
To wipe up my drink
I care less and less
What people think
And you are so lame
You always dissapoint me
It's kind of like our running joke
But it's really not funny
And I just want you to live up to
The image of you I create
I see you and I'm so unsatisfied
I see you and I dilate
So I'll walk the plank
And I'll jump with a smile
If I'm gonna go down
I'm gonna do it with style
And you won't see me surrender
You won't hear me confess
'Cuz you've left me with nothing
But I've worked with less
And I learn every room long enough
To make it to the door
And then I hear it click shut behind me
And every key works differently
I forget everytime
And forgetting defines me
That's what defines me
When I say you sucked my brain out
The English translation is I am in love with you
And it is no fun
But I don't use words like love
'Cuz works like that don't matter
But don't look so offended
You know, you should be flattered
And I wake up in the night
In some big hotel bed
And my hands grope for the light
And my hands grope for my head
The world is my oyster
The road is my home
And I know that I'm better
Off alone
15.Gratitude
Thank you for letting me stay here
Thank you for taking me in
Thank you for the beer and the food
Thank you for loaning me bus fare
Thank you for showing me around
That was a very kind thing to do
Thank you for the use of the clean towel
Thank you for half of your bed
We can sleep here like brother and sister, you said
But you changed the rules in an hour or two
And I don't know what you and your sisters do
But please don't
Please stop
This is not my obligation
What does my body have to do
With my gratitude？
Look at you
Little white lying
For the purpose of justifying
What you're trying to do
I know that you feel my resistance
I know that you heard what I said
Otherwise you wouldn't need the excuse
Thank you
For letting me stay here
Thank you for taking me in
I don't know where else
I would have turned
But I don't come and go
Like a pop song
That you can play incessantly
And then foget when it's gone
You can't write me off
And you don't turn me on
So don't change the rules in an hour or two
I don't know what you and your sisters do
But please don't
Please stop
This is not my obligation
What does my body have to do with my gratitude？
16.Rock Paper Scissors
It's rock paper scissors as to whether I will get over you at
all.
It's hand against hand and both hands are mine.
It's standing in a circular line, which is not to say that I'm
not also happy.
A happy meal with a surprise inside.
Surprise, surprise is another bright light in my eyes
Exposing all the stuff I'm not calculating enough to hide.
This melancholy that I carry makes me feel so grown up at the
kitchen table doing shots of resignation.
I never thought I'd see the day
When I would I say I give up and tame the stallions of my
wildest expectations.
But I do not want to know you this way, surrounded by so much
pain.
But how am I supposed to let go of you this way, like a bird
into the sky of my brain？
I think I could accept all these dark colors as just part of
some bigger color scheme
If it wasn't for that drippy string quartet of sadness
underscoring each smiling scene.
Yeah desire drags me right out of myself like a gas soaked rope
tied to a piece of coal.
And I'm getting pretty good at looking at the bright side
While the flames ripple on the sand and swallow me whole.
But this melancholy that I carry makes me feel so grown up at my
kitchen table doing shots of resignation.
I never thought I'd see the day
When I would say I give up and break the stallions of my wildest
expectations.
But I do not want to know you this way surrounded by so much
pain
But how am I supposed to let go of you this way like a bird into
the sky of my brain.
17.32 Flavors
Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday you're going to get hungry
And eat most of the words you just said
Both my parents taught me about good will
And I have done well by their names
Just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
Is more than I can explain
Still there's many
Who've turned out their porch lights
Just so I would think they were not home
And hid in the dark of their windows
Til I'd passed and left them alone
And god help you if you are an ugly girl
Cause too pretty is also your doom
Cuz everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room
And god help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
While you are just flying past
I never tried to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
And I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
No, I will never be a saint
But I will always say
Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday you might find you're starving
And eating all of the words you said
18.Loom ／ Pulse
Loom
You always got those dark sunglasses
Covering up your face
But if you promise to take them off
I promise I won't squander your gaze
I will be picturesque
I will be nice
I won't do anything
You can't tell your wife
I will think before I act
I will think twice
Just let me see your eyes
Each time we've spoke
We've put in our token
And ridden the tilt-a-whirl
And I was giggling and dizzy
Flirting like a 12 year old girl
The carnival of you and me is coming to town
Watch how we spin and spin
And then fall down
Now we just say hello
And head for firmer ground
You are the one-way glass that watches me
Standing in line at the bank
I always looked into your glasses
Like a cat looks into a fish tank
But all I could ever see was the specter of me reflected
I want a monument of friendship
That we never had, erected
I want it to take up lots of room
I want it to loom
You always got those dark sunglasses
Between us when we talk
But after the party is over
If you wanna take a walk
We could just look around not do nothing wrong
Just try to be at least as brave as our songs
I will bring my heart
I will bring my face
Just name the time and place
Pulse
You crawled into my bed
Like some sort of giant insect
And I found myself spellbound
At the sight of you there
Cocooned in my room,
Beautiful and grotesque and all the rest of that bug stuff
Bluffing your way into my mouth
Behind my teeth, reaching for my scars
That night we got kicked out of two bars
And laughed our way home
That night you leaned over
And threw up into your hair
And I thought
I would offer you my pulse
If I thought it would be useful
I would give you my breath
Except
The problem with death is that you have
Some hundred years and then they can
Build building on your only bones
100 years and then your grave is not your own
We lie in out beds, and our graves
Unable to save ourselves from
The quaint tragedies we invent
And then undo from the stupid circumstances
We slalomed through
And I realized that night that the hall light
Which seemed so bright when you turned it on is nothing
Compared to the dawn
Which is nothing, compared to the light
Which seeps from me while you're sleeping beautiful
And grotesque resting cocooned in my room
That night we got kicked out of two bars
And laughed our way home
And I held you there thinking
I would offer you my pulse
I would give you my breath
I would offer you my pulse
19.Not A Pretty Girl
I am not a pretty girl
That is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distress
And I don't need to be rescued
So put me down punk
Wouldn't you prefer a maiden fair
Isn't there a kitten
Stuck up a tree somewhere
I am not an angry girl
But it seems like
I've got everyone fooled
Every time I say something
They find hard to hear
They chalk it up to my anger
And never to their own fear
And imagine you're a girl
Just trying to finally come clean
Knowing full well they'd prefer
You were dirty
And smiling
And I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
And I am not a kitten
Stuck up a tree somewhere
And generally my generation
Wouldn't be caught dead
Working for the man
And generally I agree with them
Trouble is you gotta have youself
An alternate plan
I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
And I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
And what if there are
No damsels in distress
What if I knew that
And I called your bluff
Don't you think every kitten
Figures out how to get down
Whether or not you ever show up
I am not a pretty girl
I don't really want to be a pretty girl
I want to be more than a pretty girl
20.Self Evident
Yes,
Us people are just poems
We're 90% metaphor
With a leanness of meaning
Approaching hyper-distillation
And once upon a time
We were moonshine
Rushing down the throat of a giraffe
Yes, rushing down the long hallway
Despite what the p.A. announcement says
Yes, rushing down the long stairs
With the whiskey of eternity
Fermented and distilled
To eighteen minutes
Burning down our throats
Down the hall
Down the stairs
In a building so tall
That it will always be there
Yes, it's part of a pair
There on the bow of noah's ark
The most prestigious couple
Just kickin back parked
Against a perfectly blue sky
On a morning beatific
In its indian summer breeze
On the day that america
Fell to its knees
After strutting around for a century
Without saying thank you
Or please
And the shock was subsonic
And the smoke was deafening
Between the setup and the punch line
Cuz we were all on time for work that day
We all boarded that plane for to fly
And then while the fires were raging
We all climbed up on the windowsill
And then we all held hands
And jumped into the sky
And every borough looked up when it heard the first blast
And then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed
And the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar
Looked more like war than anything I've seen so far
So far
So far
So fierce and ingenious
A poetic specter so far gone
That every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling
Over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on
And I'll tell you what, while we're at it
You can keep the pentagon
Keep the propaganda
Keep each and every tv
That's been trying to convince me
To participate
In some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution
Perpetuate retribution
Even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution
Is still hanging in the air
And there's ash on our shoes
And there's ash in our hair
And there's a fine silt on every mantle
From hell's kitchen to brooklyn
And the streets are full of stories
Sudden twists and near misses
And soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters
With tales of narrowly averted disasters
And the whiskey is flowin
Like never before
As all over the country
Folks just shake their heads
And pour
So here's a toast to all the folks who live in palestine
Afghanistan
Iraq
El Salvador
Here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation
Under the stone cold gaze of mt. rushmore
Here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors
Who daily provide women with a choice
Who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city
Just to listen to a young woman's voice
Here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
Awaiting the executioner's guillotine
Who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their
heads
To find peace in the form of a dream
Cuz take away our playstations
And we are a third world nation
Under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
Who stole the oval office and that phony election
I mean
It don't take a weatherman
To look around and see the weather
Jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks
And boy did he ever
And we hold these truths to be self evident：
#1 george w. bush is not president
#2 america is not a true democracy
#3 the media is not fooling me
Cuz I am a poem heeding hyper-distillation
I've got no room for a lie so verbose
I'm looking out over my whole human family
And I'm raising my glass in a toast
Here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
Let us vow to get off of this sauce
Shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
And find that train ticket we lost
Cuz once upon a time the line followed the river
And peeked into all the backyards
And the laundry was waving
The graffiti was teasing us
From brick walls and bridges
We were rolling over ridges
Through valleys
Under stars
I dream of touring like duke ellington
In my own railroad car
I dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
In a grand station aglow with grace
And then standing out on the platform
And feeling the air on my face
Give back the night its distant whistle
Give the darkness back its soul
Give the big oil companies the finger finally
And relearn how to rock-n-roll
Yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there
So it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets
And clear the air
Get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand
Of someone else's desert
Put it back in its pants
And quit the hypocritical chants of
Freedom forever
Cuz when one lone phone rang
In two thousand and one
At ten after nine
On nine one one
Which is the number we all called
When that lone phone rang right off the wall
Right off our desk and down the long hall
Down the long stairs
In a building so tall
That the whole world turned
Just to watch it fall
And while we're at it
Remember the first time around？
The bomb？
The ryder truck？
The parking garage？
The princess that didn't even feel the pea？
Remember joking around in our apartment on avenue d？
Can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change
their design
Following a fantastical reversal of the new york skyline？!
It was a joke, of course
It was a joke
At the time
And that was just a few years ago
So let the record show
That the fbi was all over that case
That the plot was obvious and in everybody's face
And scoping that scene
Religiously
The cia
Or is it kgb？
Committing countless crimes against humanity
With this kind of eventuality
As its excuse
For abuse after expensive abuse
And it didn't have a clue
Look, another window to see through
Way up here
On the 104th floor
Look
Another key
Another door
10% literal
90% metaphor
3000 some poems disguised as people
On an almost too perfect day
Should be more than pawns
In some asshole's passion play
So now it's your job
And it's my job
To make it that way
To make sure they didn't die in vain
Sshhhhhh
Baby listen
Hear the train？
21.Reckoning
You can doubt anything
If you think about it long enough
Cuz what happened always adjusts to fit
What happened after that
And it's hard to feel like you are free
When all you seem to do is referee
Remember when it was just you and me
Steppin' up to bat？
And win or lose
Just that you choose this little war
Is what kills you
And either or it's that this war
Is maybe also what thrills you
We thought we left possession behind
But truth is I was yours and you were mine
And now I've replayed a thousand times
Exactly what was said
Cuz nothing is as it appears
In the funhouse mirrors of your fears
On the roller coaster of all these years
With your hands above your head
And win or lose
Just that you choose this little war
Is what kills you
And either or it's that this war
Is maybe also what thrills you
I don't care how fast you run
Just tell me, baby, that when you're done
With your little marathon
You still got cab fare home
Cuz the finish line is a shifty thing
And what is life but reckoning
And, you know
You are still the song I sing
To myself
When I'm alone
And win or lose just that we choose
This little war is what kills us
And either or it's that this war
Is maybe also what thrills us
22.My I.Q.
When I was four years old
They tried to test my I.Q.
They showed me a picture of 3 oranges and a pear
They said, which one is different？
It does not belong
They taught me different is wrong
But when I was 13 years old
I woke up one morning
Thighs covered in blood
Like a war
Like a warning
That I live in a breakable takeable body
An ever-increasingly valuable body
That a woman had come in the night to replace me
Deface me
See, my body is borrowed
Yeah, I got it on loan
For the time in between my mom and some maggots
I don't need anyone to hold me
I can hold my own
I got highways for stretchmarks
See where I've grown
I sing sometimes
Like my life is at stake
'Cause you're only as loud
As the noises you make
I'm learning to laugh as hard
As I can listen
'Cause silence
Is violence
In women and poor people
If more people were screaming then I could relax
But a good brain ain't diddley
If you don't have the facts
We live in a breakable takeable world
An ever available possible world
And we can make music
Like we can make do
Genius is in a back beat
Backseat to nothing if you're dancing
Especially something stupid
Like I.Q.
For every lie I unlearn
I learn something new
I sing sometimes for the war that I fight
'Cause every tool is a weapon -
If you hold it right.
23.Jukebox
In the jukebox of her memory
The list of names flips by and stops
She closes her eyes
And smiles as the record drops
Then she drinks herself up and out
Of her kitchen chair
And she dances out of time
As slow as she can sway
For as long as she can say
This dance is mine
This dance is mine
Her hair bears silent witness
To the passing of time
Tattoos like mile markers
Map the distance she has gone
Winning some, losing some
She says my sister still calls every Sunday night
After the rates go down
And I can never manage to say anything right
My whole life blew up
And now its all coming down
And she says leave me alone
Tonight I just wanna stay home
She fills the pot with water
She drops in the bone
She says, I've got a darkness that I have to feed
I've got a sadness
That grows up around me like a weed
And I'm not hurting anyone
I'm just spiraling in
As she closes her eyes
And hears the song begin again
She appreciates the phone calls
The consoling cards and such
She appreciates all the people
Who come by and try to pull her back in touch
They try to hold the lid down tightly
And they try to shake well
But the oil and water
Just want to separate themselves
She drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair
And she dances out of time
As slow as she can sway
For as long as she can say
This dance is mine
This dance is mine
This dance is mine
24.You Had Time
How can I go home
With nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say what did you do out there
And what did you decide
You said you needed time
And you had time
You are a china shop
And I am a bull
You are really good food
And I am full
I guess everything is timing
I guess everything's been said
So I am coming home with an empty head
You'll say did they love you or what
I'll say they love what I do
The only one who really loves me is you
And you'll say girl did you kick some butt
And I'll say I don't really remember
But my fingers are sore
And my voice is too
You'll say it's really good to see you
You'll say I missed you horribly
You'll say let me carry that
Give that to me
And you will take the heavy stuff
And you will drive the car
And I'll look out the window making jokes
About the way things are
How can I go home
With nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say what did you do out there
And what did you decide
You said you needed time
And you had time
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